Movie Review: The Grey

When I was younger, before I started WordsofWisTIM and paying closer attention to movies, I had a few I hated with the strongest passion. Among those bitter enough to make the short list? The Grey.

Liam Neeson is one of my favorite actors and so when my family and I sat down to watch this, despite how boring the back cover read, I had hope albeit a cautious one it was. If the back cover doesn’t look good, it’s probably not good. They say don’t judge a book by its cover. They never said anything about movies.

A survival tale is going to be slow, keep that in mind when you watch it but that doesn’t mean you should excuse it. It’s still a huge problem. It’s like your corpse is being dragged in the snow by those terrible CGI wolves. It’s painful.

The acting is pretty bad. Dermot Mulroney and Frank Grillo somehow got dragged into this and neither does anything worth their time. This is a movie that, at least acting-wise, could have went straight to DVD. Even Neeson, who you can tell is trying, isn’t filling our appetites. The character displays aren’t even worthy of being called cardboard cutouts. They’re more like damp tissues: easily ripped apart and tossed to the curb. Why? Because they’re of little importance.

The Grey prioritizes its meaning over its characters and so when it’s not stamping its audience with the survival badge, it’s pretty mundane. There are a few snippets where something worthwhile is said but those tidbits are never related to the story being told. It’s always about the deeper meaning. For example, there’s some faith conversation and some talk where the characters tell jokes to try to separate themselves from the dire events unfolding. It would be meaningful if the writing was done at even a mediocre level. That’s the thing with a movie like this. Screenwriting plays a more substantial role than usual because there’s nothing to distract us like visual effects or humor. It’s all dark and cold like our setting and if you only put one foot into the darkness, it doesn’t work. You have to embrace it and accentuate the anchor points and the depths you want to reach and roots you want to explore. Dark stuff is hard to write about if you’re only half-involved, which I found interesting considering the film is entitled The Grey. To make grey, you mix white and black and by having half of their script in the white and half in the dark, this film is pretty grey, uncertain of which of the two roads to choose. To be fair, it’s more like 85% white and 15% black because trust me, if half of this film was excavating the stems of survival stories, I would have enjoyed this a heck of a lot more.

Alas, it does not. No empathy is warranted and no characters are connected with. Neeson is constantly with some girl but not until the very, very end does it tell you anything and when I mean anything, I mean like your buddy goes out on a date for the first time in a year and he comes back and you’re really excited to hear what he has to say and after he beats around the bush for two hours, he finally says, “Well, I took her to dinner” before falling asleep. Pretty big letdown, right? You’d be pretty peeved, maybe even wake him up and force him to finish the story. Sadly, you can’t do that with The Grey because it’s a movie, not a person, nor can you see yourself carrying on a conversation with any of these people anyway. They’re all pawns in a bigger scheme, which is not what a movie is supposed to be. The characters should be your bishops and queen and king. That’s how stories are formed. Otherwise, it’s a dissertation on the darker segments of the human mind more than it is a story. Ugh, I just don’t want to talk about this anymore.

Once again, if you’re new to my blog, I’ve always ranked movies on a scale of 0-100 (I don’t know why, I just always have). Here’s the grading scale.  

90-100  It’s a great movie and definitely one worth buying. (Guardians of the Galaxy, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, Transformers: Age of Extinction, Jack Reacher, Godzilla)

80-89   It was a pretty good movie and definitely one worth seeing, but it doesn’t quite scratch my top ten percentile. (Tears of the Sun, Edge of Tomorrow, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Young Guns, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2)

70-79   It’s okay but I’ve seen better. It has its moments, but it has its flaws, too.(Red Dawn(2012), Maleficent, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Transporter 2, Battle: Los Angeles)

60-69   It’s got plenty wrong with it but I still got enjoyment out of this one. (Rubber, Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, The Transporter, Speed)

50-59   This movie isn’t intolerable but it’s not blowing my mind either. I’m trying really hard to get some sort of enjoyment out of this. (The Expendable 3, Homefront, G.I. Joe: Retaliation, Vantage Point, The Starving Games)

40-49   This movie is just mediocre. It’s not doing anything other than the bare minimal, so morbidly boring that sometimes I’m actually angry I watched this. (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Billy Madison, A Haunted House, 300: Rise of an Empire, Cowboys and Aliens)

30-39   Definitely worse than mediocre, the 30′s ironically define the 1930′s, full of depression, lack of accomplishments, poverty and just so dumb. (Planet of the Apes, Stonados, Redemption, Pride and Prejudice, The Contract)

20-29   What did I just watch? Cliches, stupidity, nothingness, did I mention stupidity? Just…wow. (X-Men: Days of Future Past, Thor: The Dark World, The Sum of All Fears)

0-19      Watching this movie resulted in one or more of the following: seizure, loss of brain cells, falling asleep/unconsciousness, feel you wasted your time/day, accomplished nothing for you, left the movie knowing less about it then you did going into it, constantly asking yourself why you came to see this movie, or near-death experience. In short, staring at a wall was just as entertaining as watching this movie. This movie deserved a sticker or a label that said, “WARNING: EXTREME AMOUNT OF SUCKAGE.” (Tucker & Dale vs. Evil, Safe, Watchmen, Clash of the Titans, A Haunted House 2)

My score for The Grey: 25.

The Grey may have gotten a 79% on Rotten Tomatoes but I wouldn’t trust that score if I were you. On the other hand, if we’re rating movies based off of how close they are to rotten tomatoes, then that’s probably a good score for it. Easily my least favorite Neeson film.

Movie Review: Young Guns

I don’t consider myself a western fanatic when it comes to the film genre, but I’ll admit if a story is presented well enough that I’m bound to get intrigued one way or another. So I present to you, Young Guns.

A 1988 film starring Emilio Estevez, brother Charlie Sheen and Kiefer Sutherland is what I found on television a few years ago. It stars a cast of people before they became the real deal, so I was interested to see how they performed. Estevez fell off the face of the Earth or something after The Mighty Ducks franchise so I wanted to see his role most of all.

It’s a film that isn’t too hard to follow but isn’t boring either. The film starts off with William H. Bonney (Estevez) escaping from some people who are looking forward to a hanging. Bonney is bailed out by cattle rancher John Tunstall (Terence Stamp), who is known for taking young men in trouble with the law and getting them back on their feet. In return, they make sure none of his property is stolen. It’s an admirable task to take on for a character and Stamp does a concrete job to back it up. However, life can’t be perfect. We’ve got Lawrence Murphy dealing with corrupt politicians to help him own the town, make tons of money, and force out all of his competitors, Tunstall being one of them.

The infamous Billy the Kid gets the recognition he deserves from Estevez, who’s having perhaps too much fun with this role. He’s making it look simply too easy, acting like a guy who doesn’t seem to have a care in the world and loves living life the way he’s living it: reckless and dangerous. He’s taking the law into his own hands here, taking the path of cool, hard vengeance rather than civil legality. Is it the right path to take? Who cares! It’s fun to watch, entertaining, and at times, spontaneous. You never know what to expect from Billy the Kid, but you know it’s going to be something witty and probably contain some sort of dark humor.

Kiefer Sutherland is the intellectual of the group, rightfully earning the nickname Doc. He’s a hopeless romantic and I sympathize with the guy because at times I feel like one myself. He’s reasonable, rational, and pretty much the opposite of Billy. The only reason he stays with him is because Billy’s good with the steel, which is very beneficial in their current predicament.

What really separates Young Guns from other films of the genre is its pacing, which is quickened and action-filled by director Christopher Cain. It’s lively and no one is safe from death, not even Billy the Kid although you would think that’s the case.

There’s a lot of killing, dying, chewing, riding horses, and twangy accents. It’s never lackluster for me despite the repetition though because it’s not so repetitious that it’s just dumb.

We’ve also got a supporting cast with Lou Diamond Phillips as Chavez the Navajo, the last of his people and he’s got a vendetta to pursue against Murphy and his gang. Casey Siemaszko plays Charlie, the one who displays some anxiety and fear and just wants out, even if he has to create some bullet holes to do so. We also got Dermot Mulroney as “Dirty” Steve Stephens, who’s just a downright hick. He’s got a dip in his mouth like the whole movie.

Once again, if you’re new to my blog,  I’ve always ranked movies on a scale of 0-100 (I don’t know why, I just always have). Here’s the grading scale.

 90-100  It’s a great movie and definitely one worth buying. (Mission Impossible, Mission Impossible II, Mission Impossible III, Spider-Man, Spider-Man 2)

80-89   It was a pretty good movie and definitely one worth seeing, but it doesn’t quite scratch my top ten percentile. (The Lego Movie, Non-Stop, Divergent, Spider-Man 3, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2)

70-79   It’s okay but I’ve seen better. It has its moments, but it has its flaws, too. (Captain America: The First Avenger, Dawn of the Dead, Flyboys, 300, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs)

60-69   It’s got plenty wrong with it but I still got enjoyment out of this one. (Pacific Rim, The Long Kiss Goodnight, Disaster Movie)

50-59   This movie isn’t intolerable but it’s not blowing my mind either. I’m trying really hard to get some sort of enjoyment out of this. (Aliens, Alien Resurrection, Full Metal Jacket, Thor, You’re Next)

40-49   This movie is just mediocre. It’s not doing anything other than the bare minimal, so morbidly boring that sometimes I’m actually angry I watched this. (Pitch Black, Alien, Serendipity, Cowboys and Aliens, 300: Rise of an Empire)

30-39   Definitely worse than mediocre, the 30’s ironically define the 1930’s, full of depression, lack of accomplishments, poverty and just so dumb. (The Contract, Pride and Prejudice, Redemption)

20-29   What did I just watch? Cliches, stupidity, nothingness, did I mention stupidity? Just…wow. (The Sum of All Fears, Thor: The Dark World)

0-19      Watching this movie resulted in one or more of the following: seizure, loss of brain cells, falling asleep/unconsciousness, feel you wasted your time/day, accomplished nothing for you, left the movie knowing less about it then you did going into it, constantly asking yourself why you came to see this movie, or near-death experience. In short, staring at a wall was just as entertaining as watching this movie. This movie deserved a sticker or a label that said, “WARNING: EXTREME AMOUNT OF SUCKAGE.” (Midnight Cowboy, Dark Fury, Alien 3, Open Grave)

My score for Young Guns: 83.

When the bloody sun sets, there will be a lot of dead bodies, a lot of witty lines delivered, and a lot of empty shells on the set of Young Guns, but chances are you’ll come out of the viewing unscathed but still entertained enough to want to see it again and then some.