I sense you every day
Sneak a peek at every smile, knowing it might be yours.
I can feel your auburn hair brush past, watch as it flows behind you, riding along the speed of your step.
You always have a place to be.
I just wish I was one of them.
Your laugh, that splendid melody, that joyous sound.
I rehearse it in my head daily
‘fraid I’ll lose it like I’ve lost everything else.
If happiness was a sound, it would be you.
I sense you in the brisk wind when I run, your sweet voice softly in my ear
“Don’t quit on me.”
I imagine your fingers under my chin, reminding me to keep my head up
Your hand on the back of my neck, a rush in my shoulders
A soft, glacier blue in your eyes
A blizzard that goes right through me.
There is a snow-covered paradise in there
A whirlwind, an oasis.
There’s no shade of color which can command like that.
They go right through me.
I can’t hide from you
And I don’t want to.
I remember the wit of someone I’ve never met
Clever, sharp and whimsical
Endlessly endearing, a passion unmatched.
You are my North Star, my compass
My guide, my love.
I know everything about you
And also nothing at all.
I long for sweet nothings in my ear
But I hear only emptiness
An echo chamber of my own making.
I pain for luscious key strokes from the parlor
To see the Steinway roar by your hand.
You create in ways I can only dream of.
I try to find the path
But it evades me, as you do.
I yearn for the blossoms to bloom.
I never had a green thumb.
The American red maple stands strong year after year
Stubborn, patient and reliable as me.
We’ve gone through a lot of seasons together
That tree and I.
But I cannot grow a flower.
You are my rose.
I feed the deer every day.
I know how much of a Snow White you are.
Each time he comes around, I ask Jack if he’s seen you.
He looks up from his grub and in his eyes I see the same trust and faith I see in yours.
He has no answers for me.
Jack is a deer.
I’m asking a deer if he’s seen my wife.
Each night, I look up in the sky for you.
You’re always there, the one place I know you’ll be.
I wonder if you dwell in the stars in the twilight
Looking for me
Or if all I do
All I feel
And all I dream
Is a wisp of a life I wished I’d lived
And something that will never be.