Movie Review: Disaster Movie

[ DISASTER MOVIE POSTER ]It was closing on midnight the other day and I didn’t feel like doing anything productive. Alex and another one of my friends, Dylan, wanted to watch a movie and decided on Disaster Movie. Disaster Movie is in the bottom ten in regards to IMDb rating, scoring an astronomical 1.8 out of ten.

This movie’s plot is incredibly stupid. Will wakes up from a weird dream in time to have a fight with his girlfriend and attend his super-duper sweet 16 party even though he’s like 21. He meets a couple of people and then stuff just starts going nuts. That’s all I’m going to give you.

The whole movie is composed of a bunch of spoofs of other movies, such as Juno, Enchanted, and High School Musical. Even if you haven’t watched the movies they are spoofing, they still explain the jokes enough that you’re able to get all of them.

The cast does a good job of laying down the jokes and making them work. They’re a bunch of actors that no one’s heard of, but they do a good job. Carmen Electra and Kim Kardashian are the most notable actors/actresses in this and they don’t do that much. They’re just there for people to look at in an attempt to cause us to forget how bad this movie is.

However, despite how bad the plot is, because it makes zero sense, I found this movie hilarious. Similar to Sharknado, this movie’s plot is horrible, and the cast is full of a bunch of unknown actors, except in this they actually don’t do a bad job acting where in Sharknado it was laughably awful. It’s incredibly stupid, but the entertainment factor is there. I couldn’t stop laughing and while there’s a chance I probably lost some brain cells that night, if I had to do it again, I would have watched it.

Once again, if you’re new to my blog,  I’ve always ranked movies on a scale of 0-100 (I don’t know why, I just always have). Here’s the grading scale.

 90-100  It’s a great movie and definitely one worth buying. (Iron Man 3World War Z42Just Go With It)

80-89   It was a pretty good movie and definitely one worth seeing, but it doesn’t quite scratch my top ten percentile. (Man of SteelMonster-In-LawWhite House DownJobsThe Truman Show)

70-79   It’s okay but I’ve seen better. It has its moments, but it has its flaws, too. (The Usual Suspects21 Jump StreetEscape PlanCaptain America: The First AvengerDawn of the Dead)

60-69   It’s got plenty wrong with it but I still got enjoyment out of this one. (Pacific RimThe Long Kiss Goodnight)

50-59   This movie isn’t intolerable but it’s not blowing my mind either. I’m trying really hard to get some sort of enjoyment out of this. (Total RecallDodgeball: A True Underdog StoryAlong Came PollyAliens, Alien Resurrection)

40-49   This movie is just mediocre. It’s not doing anything other than the bare minimal, so morbidly boring that sometimes I’m actually angry I watched this. (Patriot GamesThe Great GatsbyPitch BlackAlien)

30-39   Definitely worse than mediocre, the 30’s ironically define the 1930’s, full of depression, lack of accomplishments, poverty and just so dumb. (The ContractPride and Prejudice)

20-29   What did I just watch? Cliches, stupidity, nothingness, did I mention stupidity? Just…wow. (The Sum of All Fears)

0-19      Watching this movie resulted in one or more of the following: seizure, loss of brain cells, falling asleep/unconsciousness, feel you wasted your time/day, accomplished nothing for you, left the movie knowing less about it then you did going into it, constantly asking yourself why you came to see this movie, or near-death experience. In short, staring at a wall was just as entertaining as watching this movie. This movie deserved a sticker or a label that said, “WARNING: EXTREME AMOUNT OF SUCKAGE.” (Midnight CowboyDark FuryAlien 3)

My score for Disaster Movie: 67.

This movie’s plot is what makes the score fall so much as well as the fact that there’s no character development nor do I care about any of the characters. It’s all about punchlines and while it works, a movie is expected to do more than that and this simply doesn’t. If you want to watch something that can entertain you without making you think, this is probably the movie for you.

*SPOILER ALERT* IF YOU DON’T WANT THE MOVIE SPOILED, STOP READING!!!

*SPOILER’S EDITION*

You got to appreciate the little things in this movie as well as the punchlines. For example, Juno makes the same hand motions no matter what she’s saying and what connotation she’s saying it in. Also, if you hate Kim Kardashian, she dies so, yeah. If you take an IQ test after this movie and your score went down, it was probably because of this movie I.E don’t watch this movie before an important event in your life or before taking the SAT’s or ACT’s.

 

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