Movie Review: Escape Plan

I saw this during my birthday weekend because it’s Stallone and Schwarznegger, two of the best action heroes ever right? While Schwarznegger doesn’t entertain me as much as he entertains others (I was never a huge fan of the terminator series), he is still a good actor and Stallone is one of the best.

Ray Breslin (Sylvester Stallone) is a former prosecutor who specializes in breaking out of prisons and determining if they are inescapable or not. Then Stallone takes a big money deal to test a top-secret prison. One of the conditions is that no one is allowed to know where he is and while that would be a bad sign to some, Breslin just brushes it off like the “I can handle anything” persona that I’ve seen Stallone play a hundred times. He meets Rottmayer (Arnold Schwarznegger), a fellow inmate and the game of cat and mouse begins.

The plot looked interesting in the trailers which is one of the reasons that I went to go see it. There aren’t a lot of prison movies these days so I’ll get to see some new scenery. That’s what I was thinking anyway, and I did get to see some new scenery. The visuals were conveyed and illustrated well.

Stallone keeps the movie going with his character but Schwarznegger struggles with his side of the story. I don’t think it’s his fault though. His script was too finely tuned and narrowed so much that he doesn’t really have any character development. The only thing the audience really knows about him is that he wants to get out of the prison as much as Breslin does. The supporting cast is not relevant and any actor could have done the job. The action scenes are adequate but nothing over the top.

Once again, if you’re new to my blog,  I’ve always ranked movies on a scale of 0-100 (I don’t know why, I just always have). Here’s the grading scale.

 90-100  It’s a great movie and definitely one worth buying. (Iron Man 3, World War Z, 42, Just Go With It)

80-89   It was a pretty good movie and definitely one worth seeing, but it doesn’t quite scratch my top ten percentile. (Man of Steel, Monster-In-Law, White House Down, Jobs, The Truman Show)

70-79   It’s okay but I’ve seen better. It has its moments, but it has its flaws, too. (Elysium, Shaun of the Dead, Sharknado, The Usual Suspects, 21 Jump Street)

60-69   It’s got plenty wrong with it but I still got enjoyment out of this one. (Pacific Rim, The Long Kiss Goodnight)

50-59   This movie isn’t intolerable but it’s not blowing my mind either. I’m trying really hard to get some sort of enjoyment out of this. (After Earth, Road to Perdition, Total Recall, Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story, Along Came Polly)

40-49   This movie is just mediocre. It’s not doing anything other than the bare minimal, so morbidly boring that sometimes I’m actually angry I watched this. (Patriot Games, The Great Gatsby, Pitch Black, Alien)

30-39   Definitely worse than mediocre, the 30’s ironically define the 1930’s, full of depression, lack of accomplishments, poverty and just so dumb. (The Contract, Pride and Prejudice)

20-29   What did I just watch? Cliches, stupidity, nothingness, did I mention stupidity? Just…wow. (The Sum of All Fears)

0-19      Watching this movie resulted in one or more of the following: seizure, loss of brain cells, falling asleep/unconsciousness, feel you wasted your time/day, accomplished nothing for you, left the movie knowing less about it then you did going into it, constantly asking yourself why you came to see this movie, or near-death experience. In short, staring at a wall was just as entertaining as watching this movie. This movie deserved a sticker or a label that said, “WARNING: EXTREME AMOUNT OF SUCKAGE.” (Midnight Cowboy, Dark Fury)

My score for Escape Plan: 71.

The ending to this movie seems thrown together. The things that occur in the plot seem to move too quickly for being in a prison setting. There’s little treachery or deceit in this movie, things that I’m sure occur in prisons on a regular basis. Stallone keeps the roof from collapsing, but he’s on his knees doing so, and Schwarznegger’s flat on his face.

*SPOILER ALERT* IF YOU DON’T WANT THE MOVIE SPOILED, STOP READING!!!

*SPOILER’S EDITION*

Things are a little too convenient for Sylvester Stallone in this movie. For starters, he comes to the prison and makes a friend on the first day in Emil Rottmayer. No one thought that was a little bit suspicious? Rottmayer is also the most loyal friend I’ve ever seen. Breslin asks Rottmayer to do something, he does it. He asks him to do something again, he does it. He asks Rottmayer for a favor on at least three separate occasions and he never just says no? Convenient don’t you think?

The ending is horrible. Rottmayer ends up to be Rottmayer’s boss Victor Mannheim and it ended up there never was a Rottmayer. It also ends up that the CIA agent that hired Breslin to test the prison was Mannheim’s daughter and that it was all a ploy so she could get her dad out of prison. The guy that set Breslin up ends up to be his partner Lester Clark and despite the potential for a Stallone butt-whopping, we don’t get one. Instead, Breslin’s computer assistant chloroforms Clark and locks him in a shipping container. LAME!