I’d never gotten to see The Hobbit until yesterday. I didn’t get a chance to see it in theaters, partly because there wasn’t a theater nearby and partly because I was worried that Peter Jackson might run the Lord of the Rings saga into the ground with his newest film. Filmmakers sometimes don’t seem to know when to stop making sequels to a series, something that really frustrates me. However, my mom bought it for me for Easter and now that I’m back from college, I thought it seemed like a good time to watch it.
Going into this movie, both my parents and my brother warned me that this was a disappointment, so I wasn’t jumping up and down now that I was going to get to watch this movie.
Spoiler’s edition once again will be at the end, but I’m going to introduce the first 45 minutes of this first. Some might say spoiler alert because I’ll be detailing things that some of you haven’t seen yet, but seriously, nothing happens.
As usual, another three-hour movie, but most of the first 45 minutes of this movie could have been cut out. The first 45 minutes consisted of the following:
1. The older Bilbo Baggins sitting at his desk writing the story, with Frodo coming in for the better half of 30 seconds to see what was up. None of this was necessary, but I’m guessing Elijah Wood was on his knees begging Peter Jackson to let him in it. Wood probably knows his acting career is over, since he will be forever looked at as Frodo to most, just as Radcliffe will always be Harry Potter.
2. A brief intro of the past events that have led up to the current time. One of the few only important parts in the beginning of this.
3. Gandalf saying hello to younger Bilbo, making a mark on his door, and leaving. Very exciting stuff.
4. Random dwarves showing up at Bilbo’s house, one by one I might add. Why it was so important to introduce five or so dwarves one by one and waste 10 minutes of my life, I have no idea. Seriously, I learned their name for the better half of 10 seconds before it left my mind, never to be rekindled again.
5. Dwarves eating, which to Peter Jackson I guess is very entertaining since I had to watch that for another ten minutes. All the while Bilbo is complaining in his wimpy voice that he doesn’t want visitors but doesn’t do anything about it nor does he speak louder so the dwarves can even hear him. What a sissy.
6. Dwarves throw dishes around while singing a merry tune. I’m still waiting for something to happen.
7. A meeting takes place. That’s if it’s even worthy of being called one, since it lasts for like 3 minutes and nothing that adds to the storyline is said, other than mentioning indirectly to the audience, “oh, you remember that dragon that took over our basement full of gold? We’re going to kill it and get our home back.” I’m still waiting for something to happen.
8. Gandalf tells Bilbo, “Oh, by the way, you’re coming and you have to sign this contract”, (Why Gandalf and the dwarves have to be worried about a medieval lawsuit I have no idea) one that Bilbo refuses to sign. He wakes up the next morning, signs it, and chases the dwarves down to finally start the journey.
That concludes arguably the most boring 45 minutes of film that I have ever watched. Seriously Peter Jackson, what were you thinking? If you see this movie, feel free to skip over the first 45 mins, because what I just detailed is basically what happened. Pathetic.
My family was right when they said this was a disappointment, but please keep reading before you start telling all your friends, “I read a movie review on The Hobbit that said it was a disappointing, boring movie.”
After getting past the first 45 minutes, the movie improves but never comes close to reaching the exceptional masterpiece that is the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Aside from Thorin, the leader of the group, you never learn anything significant about any of the other dwarves. The only reason I even know Thorin’s name is because it’s said like 50 times in the movie. I can’t recall the names of any of the other dwarves without looking at a cast list nor do I feel I can relate to anyone other than Thorin, which once again is because he’s the only character I learn about, so it’s either you relate to him or nobody. Despite Bilbo being the supposed main character of this film, I felt the film focused more on Thorin then it did on Bilbo. Thorin leads the way and most of the dialogue involves him while Bilbo walks behind feeling awkward, out-of-place, and saying as little as possible.The action scenes were acceptable, but once again did not live up to the Lord of the Rings standard.
While much of this movie made me cry inside (because I was watching the Lord of the Rings saga being made a mockery of), there were some nostalgic moments that made me smile. At one point, Bilbo says something heroic and the song that played every time Sam or Frodo said something heroic was played. There’s an appearance of eagles once again and another visit of Rivendell. The soundtrack is the same as in the past movie with a couple of added songs. To be honest, the soundtrack is the only thing that lives up to the Lord of the Rings standard.
Once again, if you’re new to my blog, I’ve always ranked movies on a scale of 0-100 (I don’t know why, I just always have). Here’s the grading scale.
90-100 It’s a great movie and definitely one worth buying. (Iron Man 3)
80-89 It was a pretty good movie and definitely one worth seeing, but it doesn’t quite scratch my top ten percentile. (Star Trek Into Darkness, Now You See Me)
70-79 It’s okay but I’ve seen better. It has its moments, but it has its flaws, too. (Oblivion)
60-69 It’s got plenty wrong with it but I still got enjoyment out of this one.
50-59 This movie isn’t intolerable but it’s not blowing my mind either. I’m trying really hard to get some sort of enjoyment out of this.
40-49 This movie is just mediocre. It’s not doing anything other than the bare minimal, so morbidly boring that sometimes I’m actually angry I watched this.
30-39 Definitely worse than mediocre, the 30’s ironically define the 1930’s, full of depression, lack of accomplishments, poverty and just so dumb.
20-29 What did I just watch? Cliches, stupidity, nothingness, did I mention stupidity? Just…wow.
0-19 Watching this movie resulted in one or more of the following: seizure, loss of brain cells, falling asleep/unconsciousness, feel you wasted your time/day, accomplished nothing for you, left the movie knowing less about it then you did going into it, constantly asking yourself why you came to see this movie, or near-death experience. In short, staring at a wall was just as entertaining as watching this movie. This movie deserved a sticker or a label that said, “WARNING: EXTREME AMOUNT OF SUCKAGE”.
My score for The Hobbit: 58.
It may have been because of all the hype this movie got prior to its release, but I found there was much to be desired after watching this film. While I complained a lot about the acting, the acting wasn’t that bad. It was poor when compared to the Lord of the Rings, but when compared to other movies, it wasn’t too bad. The first 45 minutes was extremely boring, but the middle wasn’t too bad. All I can say is I hope that the next one is far better than this because this was extremely disappointing.
*SPOILER ALERT* IF YOU DON’T WANT THE MOVIE SPOILED, STOP READING!!!
*SPOILER’S EDITION*
Really not much I’ve got to say about this. Just don’t go into it thinking you’re going to be looking at Lord of the Rings four, because that’s not what The Hobbit is at all. People have told me the book was awesome so I’m guessing that this movie doesn’t do it justice. To be honest, one of my favorite parts was when the brown wizard led the wolves away with his rabbit sled. Those rabbits were on steroids or something! However, if someone’s favorite part of a movie is steroid rabbits on a two-minute chase, you know it’s a disappointment.
wordsofwistim 
Good review. Not a great movie, but a very entertaining one that deserves to be seen in the regular-version, mainly because the 48fps seems to be messing everybody up. Myself included.
Thanks for reading!
My only issue with the Hobbit is that they’re adding way too much stuff that never happened in the book to the movie just so they can make three movies out of it. The Hobbit is the shortest in the LOTR series so why does it need to be 3 movies? It doesn’t but that’s okay haha. You know how big I am on book/comic accuracy haha
In this case, I can’t blame you. The Hobbit was a huge disappointment and as I said, it was like a mockery of LOTR.
I agree. The movie was unnecessarily lengthy. Butttt. It definitely made me nostalgic for the first 3 movies. Will I see the remaining Hobbit movies? Yeahhhh probably.
Great recap!
I probably will see the remaining movies, too, if just to feel the same nostaglia you are referring to.
I loved The Hobbit. Even the boring stuff was fun for me. But yeah, you are spot on. The first 45 minutes were superfluous indeed. Your rating is pretty much what I would give it had I reviewed it. Good job!
Thanks bud. Oh, how I miss the original trilogy.