Movie Review: Alien Resurrection

[ ALIEN RESURRECTION POSTER ]This 1997 film is the fourth installment of the alien series, a series that I’m so disappointed with that it’s disgusting. Sigourney Weaver is the only one that wants this trilogy to become a quadrilogy and she makes it happen by convincing Joss Whedon, famed director of The Avengers, to write the script. Yet, not even the young Joss Whedon can turn this suckfest franchise into a blockbuster hit as the plot holes continue to multiply as much as the characters’ corny dialogue and the alien eggs.

As with the first three, character flaws remain and in this one they actually had some relevant actors playing these characters and yet they still couldn’t do anything with them. Ron Perlman is known for his part in the Hellboy Series and I know I’ve seen Dominique Pinon in a couple of movies.

The movie starts with Ripley being cloned as well as the alien queen inside of her after the company recovers a blood sample of hers over 200 years after she died and cloned her. “Sounds plausible,” said the filmmakers. “I mean, it’s the future, so we don’t have to be realistic or anything right?”

Yeah, the movie’s already headed in the wrong direction and I’m only five minutes in. However, at least I’m intrigued and not ripping my hair and teeth out like I was doing with Alien 3.

The visuals are better and the kills aren’t overly creative but at least it’s not the same thing over and over again like Alien 3.

Once again, if you’re new to my blog,  I’ve always ranked movies on a scale of 0-100 (I don’t know why, I just always have). Here’s the grading scale.

 90-100  It’s a great movie and definitely one worth buying. (Iron Man 3World War Z42Just Go With It)

80-89   It was a pretty good movie and definitely one worth seeing, but it doesn’t quite scratch my top ten percentile. (Man of SteelMonster-In-LawWhite House DownJobsThe Truman Show)

70-79   It’s okay but I’ve seen better. It has its moments, but it has its flaws, too. (The Usual Suspects21 Jump StreetEscape PlanCaptain America: The First Avenger, Dawn of the Dead)

60-69   It’s got plenty wrong with it but I still got enjoyment out of this one. (Pacific RimThe Long Kiss Goodnight)

50-59   This movie isn’t intolerable but it’s not blowing my mind either. I’m trying really hard to get some sort of enjoyment out of this. (Road to PerditionTotal RecallDodgeball: A True Underdog StoryAlong Came PollyAliens)

40-49   This movie is just mediocre. It’s not doing anything other than the bare minimal, so morbidly boring that sometimes I’m actually angry I watched this. (Patriot GamesThe Great GatsbyPitch BlackAlien)

30-39   Definitely worse than mediocre, the 30’s ironically define the 1930’s, full of depression, lack of accomplishments, poverty and just so dumb. (The ContractPride and Prejudice)

20-29   What did I just watch? Cliches, stupidity, nothingness, did I mention stupidity? Just…wow. (The Sum of All Fears)

0-19      Watching this movie resulted in one or more of the following: seizure, loss of brain cells, falling asleep/unconsciousness, feel you wasted your time/day, accomplished nothing for you, left the movie knowing less about it then you did going into it, constantly asking yourself why you came to see this movie, or near-death experience. In short, staring at a wall was just as entertaining as watching this movie. This movie deserved a sticker or a label that said, “WARNING: EXTREME AMOUNT OF SUCKAGE.” (Midnight CowboyDark FuryAlien 3)

My score for Alien Resurrection: 51.

It’s one of the worst movie series I’ve ever seen, but at least Alien Resurrection isn’t as bad as Alien 3. Alien Resurrection is incredibly unrealistic, but it makes you want to keep watching just to see what absurdity they bring into the movie next.

*SPOILER ALERT* IF YOU DON’T WANT THE MOVIE SPOILED, STOP READING!!!

*SPOILER’S EDITION*

The military removes the alien queen from clone Ripley and has it breed aliens so the military can study them and make advanced weaponry because you know, they didn’t learn anything from the first three encounters with these things. They get mercenaries to kidnap some human hosts to use to breed them. I guess it’s not the first time the government has done something with no morals or ethical reasoning before, so what the heck right?

The only other thing I’m going to bother to say is that at the end a newborn alien hybrid is attacking the crew, everyone except Ripley because she is its mother. First, CREEPY! Second, the thing looks  a lot like Godzilla junior if  you remember him from the Godzilla movies. Just something I noticed.

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One thought on “Movie Review: Alien Resurrection

  1. […] different flicks as well (namely: a horror, a blockbuster, a thriller). But in many ways ”Alien: Ressurection” was totally wicked and wry, as if Terry Gilliam directed it (hint: he didn’t, but the […]

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